ADHD + Wedding Planning = One Frazzled Bride to Be

I can sum up the feeling of my life right now in one word: behind.

I feel so behind on everything!!!! Responding to emails... posting a blog... sending a list of some sort to someone... creating reports for work... ordering/printing wedding invitations... mailing thank you cards... calling my Grandmas... talking to my friends... buying groceries... washing laundry... exercising... arranging for engagement photos... cleaning the house... spending quality time with Ryan... enjoying down time for myself...

Oh, the list could go on and on but my anxiety level rises with each thought so I can't think of it anymore!! I have so many offers of "help" but have no idea what to get "help" on... what I can turn over to someone else... I feel like I am running in circles! If only I could get an infusion of "Super Planner/Multi-Tasker-ness" from one of my super friends.... the ones who can manage all this kind of stuff with barely a blink of the eye. If only... but, I can't...so the running in circles will continue for a while longer... hmmmm, wonder if that could count as exercising which would allow me to mark that one off my list!

A Special Thanks....

I posted a blog momentarily ago that was a thank you in general to the amount of love that I am feeling and the awe I truly feel at feeling so loved. I am totally having a sappy moment...and think I am going to be this way for the next two months! While I am thankful for all of our friends and I do not want anyone to feel less important, there are a few people that I specifically would like to thank and make a note of the Wonderfulness they will add to my day and already add to my life. So, if you don't want to know that I am sappy... stop reading now :)


Amy: Matron of Honor
Amy is my sister and one of my best friends. I was her maid of honor 13 years ago and am so happy to know she will be standing next to me on my big day!





Julie: Bridesmaid
Julie has been my best friend for 9 years now. She and I have been through all kinds of times together.... I am not sure I ever said it out loud to her but Julie was my saving grace. I value her friendship very much and know we will be friends our whole lives. I had the true honor of being her Maid of Honor when she married PJ and the honor of being with her and her family when she gave birth to her precious baby girl. I am thrilled and honored that she will be standing up there with me!

Hope: Bridesmaid
Hope is proof that distance and time do not affect a true friendship. Hope and I became friends in Junior High....then she moved away when we were Juniors in High School. I can still picture us standing in the hallway at school crying and saying goodbye! We managed to stay in touch through the first year or so of college (she went to UGA and me AU) but eventually lost touch...until she found me on FB!!!! We met up for a Saturday afternoon outing and after not talking for around 10 years, it felt like we had never missed a beat. We have now been in touch for a couple of years and know we will be friends forever. I am so thankful for FB! It means the world to me that Hope will be one of my Bridesmaids up there with me!

Terri: Bridesmaid
The Fabulous TJ... I have known Terri for as long as I can remember... I think she came to our school in 1st or 2nd grade... not sure, but that is my point... never remember a time without knowing Terri. But, Terri and I were friends but we were never close friends growing up. A few years ago, our group of childhood girlfriends started having girls' weekends and outings... and Terri and I realized that we should have been close friends long ago! Thankfully, I have her as one of my best friends now! Terri has been my sanity many times during this process... Terri is a fierce friend who I know will always be there for me and will always tell me the truth. I am so excited that she is gracing me with the honor of being one of my Bridesmaids!


Heather: Bridesmaid
I have "known" Heather for a long time...we went to the same Church growing up...but she is younger than me so we were not in the same groups or anything. Her family has sat on the pew behind our family and we were on speaking terms but never much more until several years ago. We kept ending up around each other and ended up spending several days together as we chaperoned a youth retreat. By the end of the trip...we were great friends... totally bonded over shopping, lol! Now, Heather is one of my best friends. She is totally stuck with me! Lol..I was her Maid of Honor when she married Matt and could not imagine my wedding without her standing up there with me.


These 5 women are very important to my life and I wanted to let them know how much they mean to me and how thankful I am that they are sharing this time with me! Being a Bridesmaid requires time and effort and I want to be sure they know it is appreciated!

What is Making My Wedding WONDERFUL...

What is making my wedding wonderful???

Getting married to Ryan is a given...and not what I am talking about because it is the given...the whole purpose of the event. Nope, I am talking about what is making my wedding wonderful outside of the significance of the event...

My wedding is wonderful because it is filled with love... love that is more than just being the love Ryan and I have for each other... more than just being the love our families have for us.... it is being filled to the point of overflow with the love coming from our friends. Truly a humbling amount of love pouring in to us. A love that I am so thankful for and am not sure that I know how to adequately express the level of thankfulness to those giving it to us.

So, this is my attempt... To our friends, you sharing this experience with Ryan and I is truly making our wedding wonderful. We love each of you and look forward to sharing our lives not only with each other but to sharing our lives with all of you.

There is nothing to fear but fear itself, right???

I must admit that I have been a little fearful lately. My life is taking a drastic, unexpected turn in a relatively short amount of time. So, I have the right to be a little fearful, right??? I think that if I was saying this to someone out loud and in person right now that they would respond, "sure, you and Ryan have only known each other for a short time..but things are going to be great" or some other comforting remark about me and Ryan. The natural first assumption would be that I am fearful about marrying someone I have known only 6 months ("only")...BUT, my fear is not about spending my life with Ryan. Our 6 months might as well be 6 years or 16 years or more.. I feel like I have known Ryan always...like he is meant to be part of my life. I am 100% certain God gave me Ryan. And I have no fear in things I know God has given to me. (although I know that technically I am not supposed to have any fear because God gives me everything in my life...just realize, I am not perfect and keep reading :)

I am fearful of some other changes that this wedding will bring into my life...has already brought a little bit into my life. Mainly, I am afraid of the impact on my relationships with others outside of Ryan. I am afraid of not being a good friend to my friends...the people who have been there for me through thick and thin...for many years. I have been "forgotten" by friends who had met their mates (or heck, some who disappeared every time they had a boyfriend!). It always hurt my feelings that they did not value my friendship enough to make time or effort to include me in their life. Don't get me wrong, I never think I should be top priority but a random text, email, phone call, pedicure, something... something to let me know I was still on their friend list (in real life, not just FB land). It always seemed like such a simple thing to me...if they valued our friendship, they would make the time, sometime!

Oh but how un-simple it is!!! It is SO complex and hard! Once you meet your mate, you no longer live "your" life but rather you live "our" life. You now have to think of someone else having to eat dinner... or you have to do yard work.. or you have to work on the house to get ready for the big move in a few months.... or you have to pay for a wedding which cuts into your lunch out/ pedi/ social funds... all of a sudden you have to be a full-fledged "grown up"!!!! And, while I love Ryan and I love the thought of being his wife... I do not love the idea of any of my beloved friends feeling unloved for one second!!! Great thing is...Ryan knows how much I love my friends..how much I need my friends...and he totally supports me having them and seeing them whenever I want (just as I feel the same way about him...he too values his friends)!

I have been so overwhelmed lately trying to plan a wedding; dealing with work which has been insane; dealing with the fact that our future home's bathroom had a leak and the floor rotted and is now completely gutted to be repaired; feeling as though I have totally been a terrible friend. So, today I am making mental amends with myself and am reminding myself of the saying "the only thing to fear is fear itself." Mainly because I realized this afternoon that this particular fear is completely controlled by me... I am the one in charge of how loved I make my friends feel!! Duh!!

So, I am squashing this fear right here, right now. I am sending out this message to all of my wonderful friends....I may be a little scattered right now (you all know I am ADHD which makes me not do well with all the planning and pressure a wedding brings!) but I truly love and value all of you! And from this moment forward, I will make it a priority that each of you know how important you are to my life. I could care not care less if my wedding has a cake or flowers or chairs or any of the other billion things weddings "should" have as long as I get to share my day and most importantly this new phase of my life with all of you!

Love <3

I love napkins!

I love napkins! Yes, I said "I love napkins"... Napkins: the paper squares one uses to wipe their hands and mouths when eating. Of course, the napkins that I love are not just any old napkins. I do not love Bounty napkins nor do I love Viva napkins. I just love the napkins that arrived on my doorstep today. The napkins that are even more tangible proof for me that Ryan is not a dream. That marrying Ryan on August 28th is not a dream. So, someone can pinch me all day and August 28th will still be real. You see, today on my doorstep were napkins that have words imprinted on them.... not any words but these words:

Regina and Ryan
August 28, 2010

All with a beautiful, swirly "K" above our names (my new last name initial!)... So, see? It is real! I am getting married! They say in business that nothing is official until you have it on paper... well, I now have it on paper! Regina and Ryan, August 28, 2010! I love these napkins!

No Longer Just a Bridesmaid

I have been the Bridesmaid in several weddings....not quite 27 dresses but more than many people. Since I have had a lot of experience being a Bridesmaid, I wanted to really put thought into the dresses for my Bridesmaids. I wanted to be considerate of body shapes and sizes... I've been in dresses where I felt badly for showing so much boob in a Church.. I've been in dresses that were not forgiving of any bulge that I had... and I have been to weddings where there is always one Bridesmaid who looks like she could just die because the dress style did not fit her body. I want my friends to be comfortable. While some people allow the different girls to have different dresses, I couldn't find any that I liked that could be done that way. But, after a lot of searching and thinking, I think I have found the perfect dress for my wedding and my friends...

I think the style is great for my friends that are well-endowed and those that are not... my sister always complains of hips (even though I think she looks great) but this will flatter any figure... not only will it flatter everyone's figure, they can wear the strapless bra they already own with it (Brides don't tend to think about the extra costs that Bridesmaids endure based on dress choices!)...

I have tried really hard to be considerate of my friends during this process (as most were with me as a bridesmaid...don't get me wrong, some of my worries come from 2nd hand experience of friends being bridesmaids... most of my friends were great Brides!)... and I know that every Bride says this but I really do think the girls could wear this one again! :o)

The Power of a Ring

I have always loved jewelry...especially rings. I can remember sitting in Church on Sunday mornings and trying on the rings of my Mom and Grandmother. I loved going to my Great-Grandmother's house because she had tons of rings (thanks, Avon). I remember in Junior High when I think we thought we should have a ring on every finger. I even had a thumb ring at one point in time. I have had hundreds of rings through my lifetime. Key word "had".... the rings never held an overly great value to me. The rings I wore were more fashion than meaningful. I chose them based on outfits and never thought twice about them being on my fingers. They were just rings.

Now this diamond ring is a different thing. This ring has power. This ring is changing my life. Yes, everyone knows the funny things that happen when you get one of these diamond rings... you all of a sudden become very left-handed (even though you are right handed)... you get distracted in mid-sentence because a sparkle catches your eye... you stare at your hand like it is no longer your hand because there is a ring on it... and many other basic, funny things..

While it is fun to stare at my hand, and I am in awe of the beautiful sparkle (Ryan did an awesome job designing my ring..yep, he designed it all on his own!)...the real power of this ring is what it represents. I am no longer the single 32 year old girl who can do whatever she wants... with this ring, I am vowing to share my life with Ryan... to consider him, to support him, to compromise and share, to no longer live my life on my terms but rather on our terms. My life is officially joining Ryan's life. I am going to be a WIFE.

So, while this ring's sparkle (and oh, how it sparkles!) does make me smile...the part that makes me smile really BIG and that makes me feel so content and sure is the true meaning of this ring... I am no longer living solely for me.

Delivering a Full-Term Marriage

Ryan and I had been dating for 3 months and 5 days when we got engaged. I would have said 'yes' after 2 weeks. Ever heard the saying, "when you know, you know"? It is so true. I realize that we will have our skeptics and possibly even some pregnancy rumors (no baby in this oven and won't be baking one for a couple of years to come!) because so many people are just skeptical of "just knows."

Thankfully, I know it can lead to a "happily ever after!" I lived with an up-close and personal view of a "just knew" love story...a happily ever after that happened in an unconventional time frame. My Dad asked my Mom to marry him on their 3rd date. Seriously, their THIRD date. They were seniors in high school and had not ever really hung out before their first date...and by the third date they both *knew*. Dad asked on my Grandparents' front porch. My Mom said, 'yes!'. They were married the August after they graduated and have been married now for 36 years and counting. Not only are they married, they are happily married. My parents flirt with each other. My parents support each other. My parents genuinely, obviously love each other. My parents are a team and are in it for the whole game...no substitutions, no quitting, no pinch hitting.... they are in it to win it....a "happily ever after that just knew."

So for all those skeptics or "wonder-ers".... Ryan and I will be delivering a full-term (lifelong) marriage that will arrive on August 28th, 2010. Funny thing is that I went online to one of those due date calculators for expectant Moms and when I typed in the date Ryan and I started talking as the conception date, our due date would be August 24th, 2010. The way I look at it...if someone can grow a person that requires a lifetime of love in 9 months...why is it so hard for some to believe the same time frame could grow a union filled with a lifetime of love?

The Perfect Match (at a Bargain Price)

I have always been the child that was right. Always. Even if I was wrong, I would somehow work the story to where I was right. I was in charge and had a mind of my own. I would show anyone that I knew what I was doing and that I knew better than them. I think many children feel this way.... but even as an adult, I find I still have a little bit of this stubborn trait in me, esp. when it comes to dealing with my parents. Who knew this perceived flaw would lead me to the greatest blessing thus far in my life?

At this age (32) in the south, everyone is worried about your future if you are a single person. The people that love you fear you will be alone for the rest of your days. I have dated regularly over the years and have experienced plenty of Mr. Very Wrongs....and those who love me worried I would never realize it each time....and were all relieved when I finally did. My family and close friends have not been fond of my dating choices the last few years. They all felt I deserved better...and I did too. Tired of the expectations and stress of dating in my thirties, I informed all the ones I love that I was taking a dating hiatus... at least a year off with no male drama in my life. I wanted 'me' time...time to regroup and prioritize. Time to be selfish. I told my parents that I may never get married and that chances were slim to none that a grandchild would come from me. I spent the next year enjoying my wonderful girl-friends and family. I didn't feel lonely nor did I miss the dating game one bit. I think the more I enjoyed myself, the more my Mom worried I would be alone forever. About 6 months into my dating hiatus, my Mom (who doesn't normally try to tell her grown children what to do without them asking) started giving me suggestions on what I should do about my "man-less situation."

My Mom wanted me to sign up for Match.com to meet new guys. See, I am a 32 year old living in a college town. While it has been flattering to be hit on by 20-somethings (many were very cute), I have no desire to be a puma, cougar or any other kind of cat. I also already did the other things that people tell you to do to "get a man"...I went to Church, I went out with friends, I was social... and the 20-somethings were around. But, no 30-somethings...and I am not alone, this goes both ways for people my age in this small, college town. Not only did my Mom see my odds of meeting someone randomly in town as low, she was seeing success from Match.com in others' lives. My sister had two friends who met (and married) great guys on Match.com...and apparently, one of the friends' sister-in-laws met her husband on there as well. Regardless of the fact that 3 people found happiness on there, I insisted it was NOT for me. Honestly, I had the idea that only desperate people would go on the internet to meet a man...and I wouldn't even volunteer myself to be set up on a blind date, much less meet someone on the internet! The start of me being so wrong!

My Mom encouraged and I bucked...this went on from summer to fall. When Christmas shopping time was approaching, I asked my Mom what she wanted for Christmas. In a smarty, motherly tone, my Mom said, "for you to join Match.com for at least 1 month." Well, I had had enough. I was ready to prove to her that I was right and she was wrong. I wanted to end this nonsense. If she wanted me to get stalked or meet crazies, fine..I would show her! So, I went home and pulled up Match.com..and lucky me, they were having a sale! So, I was going to show my Mom how wrong she was and not have to pay full price to do it! Score.

This is the moment where my stubbornness...my need to be right that is often a flaw...turned out to be the best blessing I have thus far in my life. You see, there was this guy on Match.com that had his eyes closed in his profile pic. Yep, his eyes were closed! I clicked on it to laugh and saw the other pictures and a face with a smile that I couldn't forget. It turns out that he was not crazy at all.... he too lives in this small college town. His friends had all gotten married and wanted for him what my Mom wanted for me. So, they passed a hat to get the money and signed him up. One of them has since told me that he was not very happy with them that night either. So two people who started down this road unhappy at the idea are now on the road to happily ever after! Of course, he didn't get me at a bargain price!


Side note:
We have inspired 5 other friends between the two of us to join Match.com and they are all seeing success in dating. It is kinda neat to see. I guess we were the guinea pigs..esp for my friends who would have never thought I would have done something like this! According to a local wedding planner, 30% of his weddings in the small college town now come from internet dating. Amazing, huh? Technology is changing the world! It made my world better!

Oh, and my Mom...she gloats every time she can...but, I can't complain... she was right...that $28.34 was the best money I have ever spent!