No Longer Just a Bridesmaid

I have been the Bridesmaid in several weddings....not quite 27 dresses but more than many people. Since I have had a lot of experience being a Bridesmaid, I wanted to really put thought into the dresses for my Bridesmaids. I wanted to be considerate of body shapes and sizes... I've been in dresses where I felt badly for showing so much boob in a Church.. I've been in dresses that were not forgiving of any bulge that I had... and I have been to weddings where there is always one Bridesmaid who looks like she could just die because the dress style did not fit her body. I want my friends to be comfortable. While some people allow the different girls to have different dresses, I couldn't find any that I liked that could be done that way. But, after a lot of searching and thinking, I think I have found the perfect dress for my wedding and my friends...

I think the style is great for my friends that are well-endowed and those that are not... my sister always complains of hips (even though I think she looks great) but this will flatter any figure... not only will it flatter everyone's figure, they can wear the strapless bra they already own with it (Brides don't tend to think about the extra costs that Bridesmaids endure based on dress choices!)...

I have tried really hard to be considerate of my friends during this process (as most were with me as a bridesmaid...don't get me wrong, some of my worries come from 2nd hand experience of friends being bridesmaids... most of my friends were great Brides!)... and I know that every Bride says this but I really do think the girls could wear this one again! :o)

The Power of a Ring

I have always loved jewelry...especially rings. I can remember sitting in Church on Sunday mornings and trying on the rings of my Mom and Grandmother. I loved going to my Great-Grandmother's house because she had tons of rings (thanks, Avon). I remember in Junior High when I think we thought we should have a ring on every finger. I even had a thumb ring at one point in time. I have had hundreds of rings through my lifetime. Key word "had".... the rings never held an overly great value to me. The rings I wore were more fashion than meaningful. I chose them based on outfits and never thought twice about them being on my fingers. They were just rings.

Now this diamond ring is a different thing. This ring has power. This ring is changing my life. Yes, everyone knows the funny things that happen when you get one of these diamond rings... you all of a sudden become very left-handed (even though you are right handed)... you get distracted in mid-sentence because a sparkle catches your eye... you stare at your hand like it is no longer your hand because there is a ring on it... and many other basic, funny things..

While it is fun to stare at my hand, and I am in awe of the beautiful sparkle (Ryan did an awesome job designing my ring..yep, he designed it all on his own!)...the real power of this ring is what it represents. I am no longer the single 32 year old girl who can do whatever she wants... with this ring, I am vowing to share my life with Ryan... to consider him, to support him, to compromise and share, to no longer live my life on my terms but rather on our terms. My life is officially joining Ryan's life. I am going to be a WIFE.

So, while this ring's sparkle (and oh, how it sparkles!) does make me smile...the part that makes me smile really BIG and that makes me feel so content and sure is the true meaning of this ring... I am no longer living solely for me.

Delivering a Full-Term Marriage

Ryan and I had been dating for 3 months and 5 days when we got engaged. I would have said 'yes' after 2 weeks. Ever heard the saying, "when you know, you know"? It is so true. I realize that we will have our skeptics and possibly even some pregnancy rumors (no baby in this oven and won't be baking one for a couple of years to come!) because so many people are just skeptical of "just knows."

Thankfully, I know it can lead to a "happily ever after!" I lived with an up-close and personal view of a "just knew" love story...a happily ever after that happened in an unconventional time frame. My Dad asked my Mom to marry him on their 3rd date. Seriously, their THIRD date. They were seniors in high school and had not ever really hung out before their first date...and by the third date they both *knew*. Dad asked on my Grandparents' front porch. My Mom said, 'yes!'. They were married the August after they graduated and have been married now for 36 years and counting. Not only are they married, they are happily married. My parents flirt with each other. My parents support each other. My parents genuinely, obviously love each other. My parents are a team and are in it for the whole game...no substitutions, no quitting, no pinch hitting.... they are in it to win it....a "happily ever after that just knew."

So for all those skeptics or "wonder-ers".... Ryan and I will be delivering a full-term (lifelong) marriage that will arrive on August 28th, 2010. Funny thing is that I went online to one of those due date calculators for expectant Moms and when I typed in the date Ryan and I started talking as the conception date, our due date would be August 24th, 2010. The way I look at it...if someone can grow a person that requires a lifetime of love in 9 months...why is it so hard for some to believe the same time frame could grow a union filled with a lifetime of love?

The Perfect Match (at a Bargain Price)

I have always been the child that was right. Always. Even if I was wrong, I would somehow work the story to where I was right. I was in charge and had a mind of my own. I would show anyone that I knew what I was doing and that I knew better than them. I think many children feel this way.... but even as an adult, I find I still have a little bit of this stubborn trait in me, esp. when it comes to dealing with my parents. Who knew this perceived flaw would lead me to the greatest blessing thus far in my life?

At this age (32) in the south, everyone is worried about your future if you are a single person. The people that love you fear you will be alone for the rest of your days. I have dated regularly over the years and have experienced plenty of Mr. Very Wrongs....and those who love me worried I would never realize it each time....and were all relieved when I finally did. My family and close friends have not been fond of my dating choices the last few years. They all felt I deserved better...and I did too. Tired of the expectations and stress of dating in my thirties, I informed all the ones I love that I was taking a dating hiatus... at least a year off with no male drama in my life. I wanted 'me' time...time to regroup and prioritize. Time to be selfish. I told my parents that I may never get married and that chances were slim to none that a grandchild would come from me. I spent the next year enjoying my wonderful girl-friends and family. I didn't feel lonely nor did I miss the dating game one bit. I think the more I enjoyed myself, the more my Mom worried I would be alone forever. About 6 months into my dating hiatus, my Mom (who doesn't normally try to tell her grown children what to do without them asking) started giving me suggestions on what I should do about my "man-less situation."

My Mom wanted me to sign up for Match.com to meet new guys. See, I am a 32 year old living in a college town. While it has been flattering to be hit on by 20-somethings (many were very cute), I have no desire to be a puma, cougar or any other kind of cat. I also already did the other things that people tell you to do to "get a man"...I went to Church, I went out with friends, I was social... and the 20-somethings were around. But, no 30-somethings...and I am not alone, this goes both ways for people my age in this small, college town. Not only did my Mom see my odds of meeting someone randomly in town as low, she was seeing success from Match.com in others' lives. My sister had two friends who met (and married) great guys on Match.com...and apparently, one of the friends' sister-in-laws met her husband on there as well. Regardless of the fact that 3 people found happiness on there, I insisted it was NOT for me. Honestly, I had the idea that only desperate people would go on the internet to meet a man...and I wouldn't even volunteer myself to be set up on a blind date, much less meet someone on the internet! The start of me being so wrong!

My Mom encouraged and I bucked...this went on from summer to fall. When Christmas shopping time was approaching, I asked my Mom what she wanted for Christmas. In a smarty, motherly tone, my Mom said, "for you to join Match.com for at least 1 month." Well, I had had enough. I was ready to prove to her that I was right and she was wrong. I wanted to end this nonsense. If she wanted me to get stalked or meet crazies, fine..I would show her! So, I went home and pulled up Match.com..and lucky me, they were having a sale! So, I was going to show my Mom how wrong she was and not have to pay full price to do it! Score.

This is the moment where my stubbornness...my need to be right that is often a flaw...turned out to be the best blessing I have thus far in my life. You see, there was this guy on Match.com that had his eyes closed in his profile pic. Yep, his eyes were closed! I clicked on it to laugh and saw the other pictures and a face with a smile that I couldn't forget. It turns out that he was not crazy at all.... he too lives in this small college town. His friends had all gotten married and wanted for him what my Mom wanted for me. So, they passed a hat to get the money and signed him up. One of them has since told me that he was not very happy with them that night either. So two people who started down this road unhappy at the idea are now on the road to happily ever after! Of course, he didn't get me at a bargain price!


Side note:
We have inspired 5 other friends between the two of us to join Match.com and they are all seeing success in dating. It is kinda neat to see. I guess we were the guinea pigs..esp for my friends who would have never thought I would have done something like this! According to a local wedding planner, 30% of his weddings in the small college town now come from internet dating. Amazing, huh? Technology is changing the world! It made my world better!

Oh, and my Mom...she gloats every time she can...but, I can't complain... she was right...that $28.34 was the best money I have ever spent!